It's a New Year, but will it be a
New You?
By Deborah Ailman
What habits do you want to change?
New behaviors take work, especially in the beginning. In my career as a Law of Attraction counselor I have seen countless people sign up for a course or personal counseling, only to abandon it midway through the process and slide back into old behaviors…the ones that they wanted to change in the first place.
But why? Because it’s more comfortable to stick to what you know, even if it makes you miserable.
But the point is that it gets you nowhere. I believe it was Zig Ziglar said “motivation is like bathing, it must be done daily. And that’s the truth. Goals MUST be written down and reviewed often (at least several times per day) Steps must be taken to achieve them. Want to learn something new? Take out a relevant book from the library or visit your local bookstore. Why not sign up for a class? But don’t say “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea and one of these days I’ll get around to it.” The time to take action is NOW…not tomorrow or next week or next month.
Taking action motivates you to take even MORE action. And that gets you into the flow. That helps push you along your path to where you really want to go.
Yes, the truth is that sometimes you won’t feel like it. But, you know what? That’s exactly the time you need to push a little harder. Those people, the “pushers” of this world are the successful ones. The ones that make success a habit. The ones that develop positive ways of doing things and stick to them.
Write down your goals. Keep a little “goal diary” with you and write in it when an idea comes so you won’t forget it. Review what you write and envision ways that you can implement steps to reach these goals. When you open your mind to the possibilities of what could be, and then things come your way as if by magic. But the power of your mind is powerful when you allow it to be; when you don’t obstruct it with words like “I can’t”, or “not now”. Enlist the services of a friend to help you with this if need be. You can support each other; and be a sounding board for each other’s ideas. Do whatever you think will make it easier for you to work for your goals.
I personally like to write down my goals and put them around where I can see them…often. This way I’m sure to remember them and to follow through with positive action even when I’m feeling “less than positive” It spurs me on to action. And once I act, even if it’s a small step, it inspires me to take bigger ones.
Take daily action. Finish what you start. Believe that you are capable of becoming what you want. Dreams aren’t just for other people; they are there for you too. But you have to believe. So why not start today?
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Do You Expect the Best?
By Deborah Ailman
Do you expect the best possible outcome in all situations or do you go through life bemoaning your fate with words like “this will never work” or “this is stupid” or “I don’t know why I bother, nobody appreciates what I do anyway.”
Do you start a project and just go through the motions knowing no one will like it? And honestly, are you surprised when no one does? Why should you be, they’re just mirroring your feelings.
When you drop the report on your bosses’ desk do you make eye contact and smile or do you keep your head down and then shuffle out of the room like you’re in a funeral procession?
There is a quote I remember reading long ago that went something like “Those who expect the best very often get it.”
So what happens to people who expect the worst? What do you think?
I remember an old school friend of mine. We were given a geography project, something to do with constructing a model of the topography of a certain country. Most of us were excited; we loved building things and using brightly colored paper. But not my friend. Even at nine years old, she was a ‘downer.” “I can’t do this. It will look bad. I won’t get a good grade. My parents won’t help me.” It went on and on, and if I could have moved my seat I would have.
Annie’s parents were busy working people; her dad worked two jobs just to pay the bills and her mother put her 40 hours in each week in addition to caring for Annie and her two brothers. And truth be told, they didn’t have all that much patience with Annie who always seemed to be whining about something.
But Annie had an uncle who lived next door, and he had a lot of patience. Especially with Annie because he’d remembered being just like her when he was a kid.
So he helped Annie. Night after night he’d help her build her models and compliment each step of the way. “You can do it, Annie. That looks great.” And Annie would smile. And then she said “That’s okay, Uncle Pete, I can do it now.” And she did
In fact, Annie won first prize that year. She was smiling from ear to ear.
That was years ago. Annie is all grown up now and lives in Chicago; in one of those fancy all glass skyscrapers. As one of the highest paid architects in the country, she designed the building.
And on her desk sits a placard with the words “I always expect the best.”
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The Calm Mind
By Deborah Ailman
We’ve all been there…a stressful situation. Somebody says something we don’t like or agree with. Our first instinct is to say something like “Hey, wait a minute, that’s not theway it is -it’s THIS way!” And then if we do the other guy gets mad and says something like “What are you stupid? Or are you just blind? You can’t possibly do it THAT way!”
And then it escalates. The argument over which way to “do” something mushrooms into something more. People get upset, and they let that feeling grow inside them until it erupts into a verbal “volcano”
“I never liked your first husband! Did you know he was cheating on you from day one?” “You know that new car you bought? Sandy got the same one for a thousand dollars less- you think you’re such a great negotiator!” “I NEVER liked you! I only hung out with you because you lent me money when I needed it” “Your nose looked better BEFORE you got it done!”
And the list goes on. Hurtful stuff. Stuff blurted out in the heat of anger and many times over something stupid.
In my counseling career, I have heard many stories of people who haven’t spoken to their loved ones FOR YEARS over things as stupid as a color of a dress. Their loved one has passed on and they never got to say goodbye. The only memory they have is of telling them that they “look fat” in their new pair of jeans.
Think about someone close to you and your relationship with them. Sure, you get mad sometimes, especially when the same issue presents itself over and over again. Let me give you an example. You are 28 years old and have a fantastic job and a great new apartment. You’ve got a closet full of designer clothes. You have a great circle of friends and life is pretty much, well great. Except for one little thing- your mother. Mom is proud but not that proud because she feels you are missing the most important thing in your life- a husband and a family. Now, you’re not interested in that- at least right now. And let’s be honest in this day and age you don’t have to be married and pregnant by age 18. Many women are choosing to marry later in life and many are postponing having children until even later. Or they choose not to marry or have kids at all.
The thing you need to understand here is that your mother doesn’t say these things to torture you. She tells you out of love. In her heart she believes that marriage and children will make you happier than any job, or car, or closet full of clothes will ever give you. And that’s the key here- she wants you to be happy.
But you don’t see it that way. You think your mom is a pain-in-the-butt. You dread her phone calls and dread her visits even more. You avoid going home for Sunday dinners. But then it happens. The doorbell rings and its Mom.
And so she starts. “This apartment is nice but it would be SO much better for it to have a few more people in it, say, a husband and a baby.”
Now, if you step back and count to ten and think to yourself “Mom only tells me this because she loves me,” things could go a little more smoothly. But that’s not what happens.
“What the **** do you know? My brother left home at eighteen just to get away from you. Dad screwed around on you for years, and with Susan your ‘so-called’ best friend! You stupid cow- do you think having a family makes your life a bed of roses?”
Now you’ve done it. The words are out there are you can’t take them back. You look at your mother. Her face has gone pale and she’s shaking. Tears are welling up in her eyes and she turns, grabs her purse and bolts out of your apartment.
Ten days later, unexpectedly, the phone rings and its your dad. His voice is cracking with emotion as he tells you your mother has just passed away. “Sudden heart attack,” he said.
You do get to say you’re sorry, but you say it over your mom’s casket.
The “story” I just told you is true. It happened years ago to a dear friend of mine and she has never gotten over it. “If only I were calm. If only I had counted to ten and stepped back. If only I had told my mom that I loved her and appreciated what she had to say.”
So this is my advice to you
my friend. Stay calm. Don’t let that anger well up in your throat. Push it down
and let a calm collected you rise to the surface. A calm mind finds solutions
and knows peace.
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Dealing with the
Opinions of
Others
By Deborah Ailman
Opinions! Everyone has one (or more) and a lot of the time, they are anxious to give it to you. In fact, they insist on giving it to you. So what do you do?The value of a person’s opinion in your life really depends on a few things, in my opinion (see- I just gave you mine) so let me break it down for you.
It depends on who the person is. Is this person someone who has had the same (or similar) issue and has navigated their way out of it successfully? Or better yet, is this person an expert in dealing with your issue? If yes, then you might just want to listen and even take notes. But if this person is like, say, Wanda over in accounting you might want to think twice.
Wanda has advice for everyone but she can never seem to get her own life together. She never turns in her reports on time and gets angry and upset at the drop of a hat. She talks about others behind their backs and even makes rude comments right to the person’s face. Last week, she told Diane that she looked like a “giant overstuffed lipstick” in her new red suit. And Wanda is jealous of everybody. Dan from human resources just got a new car last week. Wanda takes a shot at it every chance she gets. “A Hyundai? Who buys that?” Of course, Wanda is too busy criticizing to know that Hyundai is a very popular car and lots of people buy them. But you know what? It doesn’t matter anyway- Dan loves his new car and that’s all that matters. But not to Wanda. What Wanda won’t tell you is that her own car is almost twenty years old and in need of serious mechanical work to even get it back on the road. In fact, Wanda has been taking the bus to work for the past five years.
So should you take advice from Wanda? What do you think?
Okay I can see you sitting there now saying something like “Well Deb, you’re right about Wanda but what if she comes up to me offering me advice?” What you say is “Thank you Wanda. I certainly will take that under consideration.” Then smile and walk away.
Problem solved. You still made Wanda feel good (something she doesn’t seem to do for other people) and you avoided a protracted conversation with her. So good job!
But here’s an even tougher scenario- what if it’s a relative or somebody really close to you? Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Again, this depends on the advice. Loved one or not, do they really know what they are talking about? If so, definitely listen for not only do they know but they love you and only want the best for you.
Are they giving you advice out of fear? Let me give you an example of what I mean. Years ago, I had an aunt who worried about everything…and I mean everything. One day she called me up and we were talking and I told her I had a seminar to attend that night. She said something like “I really wish you wouldn’t drive at night, after all, you haven’t been driving too long. I took a breath and told her that I had already been driving for 23 years (and this was 15 years ago) Well she was shocked. In her mind’s eye, I was still a 17 year old who’d just gotten their driver’s license, but I was 40 years old! She was saying something out of love, but the advice was still faulty-she just didn’t know what she was talking about!
Of course, with something this obvious it was just easier to tell her flat out that she made a mistake- and then we both laughed!
Again be tactful and kind when you take their advice. “Aunt Mary, I really appreciate your concern and I will considerate it. Thank you so much for caring enough about me to offer it.” Smile, and change the subject.
But you know whose opinion should count the most? YOURS! Sure, listen to Wanda and Aunt Mary, listen to the milkman, or the postal carrier, but that little voice inside you-the one that keeps saying “Hey you! When are you going to listen to ME? Well, maybe its time you took the most important advice of all….
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You Are One of a Kind
By Deborah Ailman
How do you feel about you? I mean really... deep down inside? Are you happy and confident or does every little thing “rattle” you? Are you constantly comparing yourself to other people?
You are uniquely you. You have a combination of qualities no one else possesses quite the way you do.
Think about yourself. What do you like about you? Now don’t say ‘nothing’ because you know that’s not true. What do you like? Is it your smile? Your Eyes? Your sense of humor? Your independence? Your compassion for others? The way you make meatloaf?
You know what-get a pen and paper and write it down-all the good stuff- the stuff you like about you. Read it often. Ask other people what the like about you. Write that down too.
Too many times people are unhappy because they are unwilling to see just how wonderful they really are.
Believe me I know. I grew up an only child in a household where there was little praise but lots of criticism. That makes it kinda hard to feel good about yourself.
When parents are critical, they mostly do it out of love- to help make you a better person-more self sufficient-as it was in my case. And this is something we have to come to terms with. When my mother said something like “Why can’t you get an ‘A’ on your report like Ann did,” she only wanted me to get good grades so I’d get a good job. It wasn’t because she thought Ann was better than me. But for years that’s the way I felt. Until one day I asked her about it. She was shocked I remember her words, “Ann? You think I thought Ann was better than you? I only wanted you to apply yourself more in that math class the way she did. I know you don’t like math but you never know when you might need it.”
And the sad thing was, for years I didn’t like Ann because of that remark my mother made. And for years I’d compare myself with every other “Ann” that came down the pike.
Release yourself from that kind of thinking. And besides, we never really know what the other person really thinks or what kind of a life they really lead.
On the surface, it might seem to the world that Ann has it all. A great job, money in the bank, a big house and an expensive car parked in the driveway, a handsome husband and some cute kids. But what we might not know is that Ann hasn’t gotten along with her husband in years, in fact, he’s verbally abusive. We don’t know how many nights Ann has cried herself to sleep wishing she could find a way to turn the whole ugly situation around,
So, as she’s finally dozing off to sleep she thinks “if only I could be like Doris.”
It’s a vicious circle that “if only” circle You just go round and round chasing your tail but never really getting anywhere except to feeling bad.
The truth is that no one has a perfect life, but they learn to see the good in it and they build on that.
We may not have the looks of a supermodel or the I.Q. of an Einstein but we have wonderful qualities nonetheless. We just have to look for them, make note of them, and remember them.
You might not have gotten that raise but you make a terrific beef stew. I know this may sound silly to you but there could be a hundred reasons why you didn’t get that raise and it’s no use dwelling on it. Feeling bad about it isn’t going to get you the raise but the bad feelings you’re generating may cause you to miss out on the next one.
If someone gives you a compliment then thank them sincerely. Don’t discount what they say, “oh this old thing? I’ve had it for years.” Just smile and graciously accept what they have to say.
Break the cycle of “if only”. Be the best ‘you” that you can be. Respect others in their unique gifts and realize that you have them too, and celebrate them.
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The Holiday Season
By Deborah Ailman
Okay, the holidays are upon us once again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joy, peace, love… it’s all good. Or is it?
Television and other forms of media make the holiday season
look like you’ve died and gone to heaven. Just look around! People are cooking
gourmet meals in designer clothes. Kids are sprawled out by the Christmas tree
thoroughly enjoying each and every present they get and willingly share those
gifts with their brothers, sisters, cousins, and whatever little kid is hanging
out at your house; which, by the way, happens to be a huge colonial with seven
bedrooms, an equal number of bathrooms, and several huge fireplaces big enough
for you to walk into.
And then we get the holiday dinner scene. A table big enough to accommodate all the people on your block and it looks like it was decorated by Martha Stewart. In fact, I think I see Martha herself seated a little to the left. Oh, and here’s the best part—everybody gets along!
Yes, in this version of holiday glee everyone eating at the table gets along! Parents are complimenting children; children are telling their parents that they’re the “bestest parents in the whole wide world!" Charlie is eating with his mouth closed and Aunt Tillie finally remembered to put her teeth in BEFORE she came to the table.
And then you wake up.
Holidays for some can be a nightmare. Especially for people like me who can’t cook. But ya know what? Who cares? Sure, I’ve been told a million-bazillion times that I need to learn to cook. But you know what, I don’t like it. And there’s enough good cooks in my family anyway so let them do it. Seriously, I’m telling you this for all you non-cooks out there as well. You do not have to live up to other people’s expectations of you. So you can’t cook. So what. I’ll bet there are some things you can do that the “cooks” around you can’t do. Stop and think of them. Hey, put a smile on your face and make a list of them. You can bring them to the holiday dinner along with your store bought dessert.
And then there’s the holiday dinner. The real one. The one that's NOT at Martha Stewart’s house. The one where your Uncle Leo asks you when you’re going to get a real job and quit trying to write those children's books that no one seems to want to buy.
“When I was your age…” he starts, and you know what’s coming next. Or Grandpa, who keeps harping on the fact that you bought your sixteen-year-old son a used car to get back and forth from school. “When I was his age, I walked twenty miles to school and back. Oh, and in ten degree weather, oh, and barefoot.” You look down at Grandpa’s feet. They look fine to you. Shouldn’t he have had some kind of frostbite damage?
Or Aunt Tillie who doesn’t like your holiday dress. “Oh my dear,” she says, “appearance is everything. You want to look nice to meet a nice boy, don’t you?” But I guess appearances don’t count for Aunt Tillie herself, who just remembered she forgot to put her teeth in and was busy doing it while everyone else ate.
Holidays can be a bear. If you let them. Realize that even the people who love you may not approve of your lifestyle. They may not agree with the goals you set. Sure, you can listen. And you should be polite and respectful. But if you don’t like what’s being said then cut it off there. Each of us has had different life experiences. We have different personalities. And that’s great. Who’d want a whole world full of cookie cutter people?
And the holidays? Who says you have to spend it around a big
table with lots of people? It’s a HOLIDAY! AND
IT’S YOUR HOLIDAY!
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Toot Your Own Horn
By DEBORAH AILMAN
Toot your own horn and sing your own song. It’s tough to do when you worry about what everybody else thinks. Then the horn drops to the floor and the voice falls silent. And for what?
Everyone has an opinion and many times what they think is not necessarily right for you. Sometimes people will give you an opinion out of some kind of negativity, like jealousy. Sometimes people will give you an opinion only because they want you to fail.
That is why it is so important to follow your own heart and do what feels right to you. Someone’s opinion should only matter if you want it to. If you trust the person who is giving you advice then you may want to consider it. If you care about that person and you know they care about you then you may want to consider it. If you like the way a person lives their lives and the values they have then you might want to consider it.
But if Bertha from your office tells you that you’re crazy to want to write a book then stop and think. Especially since she made poor Danielle from accounting cry last week when she told her the dress she was wearing made her look like a cow. And the week before when she spent the whole lunch hour talking about how Donna’s husband should leave her because she can’t cook. Do you think her advice is worth it? Are these the words of a kind, compassionate person, a person who has your best interests at heart?
When someone gives you advice and it makes you squirm or makes your mouth hang wide open it’s a red flag for you. Be polite, smile, thank them for their opinion and then file it in the circular bin of your mind. Flush it down the imaginary toilet, so to speak. Then move on.
Trust your gut. Trust the little voice inside you that says “go for it.”
And you never know .Maybe Bertha herself will write a book. It could even be a bestseller. She could call it “The Art of Complaining.”
And
guess what? You don’t have to buy it.
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What happens when we think . . .
Outside the Box
By Deborah Ailman
Life is pretty boring and dull when you stay in the box. The sunlight can’t come in, and it’s dark and lonely. So what keeps you there? Fear? Of what, the opinions of others? You know they only matter if you want them to! That you won’t measure up? You know, deep down in your heart, that you are fully equipped to make your life whatever you want it to be. So what’s your next step?
Okay, you can stay in the box, where one day is exactly like the one before. It’s safe, but it’s not fun or interesting or joyful. In fact, it’s boring. There’s no view, no friends to keep you company, no one to laugh with. You can become numb with boredom and complacency. This is not life! This is not joy! This is not YOU!
So you start to think to yourself, “What would life be like outside the box? What does the world look like beyond these four gray walls that I’ve encased myself in?” So you muster up a little courage and you move the cover slightly off the box. A light streams in. Sure, it’s just a tiny little wave of a light, but it seems to call you, “Come on out, see what’s here.” So you slide the lid a little more and peer out. The world outside the box is alive with color!
There are greens and blues and RAINBOWS everywhere! Big pink fluffy clouds float silently by playing hide-and-seek with the sun’s rays. People sit on park benches while squirrels play at their feet and the green grass seems to stretch on forever. There is joy here. There is love here. There is positive expectation here. These people aren’t worried about being safe because they are so consumed with living! They see the value in themselves and each other. They approach every day expecting the best and they get it!
You start to think to yourself “I could like it here... I do like it here!”
But before you join the group of people lively waving at you to join them, you do one more thing; you kick the box somewhere where it will never be seen or used again.
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TRAPPED AN EXCERPT FROM A NEW NOVEL BY DEBORAH AILMAN
Brain Lasser was invisible. At least he felt that way. He
bundled his coat around him as he left the supermarket where he bagged
groceries every day after school. And all day on Saturdays. He was only
fourteen years old but that made no difference to his tyrannical father who
insisted the boy work although they certainly didn’t need the money. “It’ll
make a man out of you,” his father always said. Brian hadn’t even had a chance
to be a boy.
His father always treated him badly while he doted on his other two children. Tim, eleven, and Diane, nine always got the latest toys and the nicest clothes. And his father always gave them plenty of pocket money to boot. Brian had to shop at Goodwill with some of the money he earned at the store. The rest of it his father kept. “Earn your keep,” the old man would always say.
Brian’s mother never stood up for him. Though she secretly thought her husband was a bastard her life with him was cozy. In 1940’s Queens, New York she lived very well. She had a new mink coat and a brand new Ford. There was nothing her husband wouldn’t do for her or the younger children. She reasoned that Brian was getting older and soon he’d be out on his own. If she only really knew (or cared) about all the pain her son was feeling maybe things would have been different. But she didn’t know Brian cried himself to sleep almost every night.
When he was seventeen, Brian enlisted in the Army. It was one way to get away from his father who didn’t even look up from the evening paper to say goodbye. “Screw you,” Brian thought silently to himself as he flipped his duffel bag over his shoulder and walked out the door.
But Brian was still a loner. Because he always had an after school job and plenty of chores, he never had time to make many friends. And even when he brought a friend home, Brian was embarrassed to see that his father treated the friend just as badly as he treated Brian. “What’s wrong with your father?” was a question Brian heard too many times.
Maria DeVito almost slipped on the ice hurrying to work. She was late again. It was the third time this week, but it was difficult for her to work AND take care of her elderly mother. Rose was almost seventy and senile. Maria always worried that she would come home to find the house burned down or her mother tripping down the stairs.
“You’re late again,” her boss said. Maria explained about
her mother. “Put her in a home,” he replied. Maria stared at her boss, Brian
Lasser. She thought he was the devil incarnate. But he wasn’t born a monster,
he was raised to be one . . . . .
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DUCT TAPE
By Deborah Ailman
The other day one of my cats swung open the cabinet under the kitchen sink and
broke the door. It hung haphazardly off the broken hinge. When my husband got home from work, he moved the garbage pail from the damaged cabinet to the one right next to it. Because he had no time to get a new hinge at the local hardware store, he duct taped the broken door shut so prying little paws couldn’t get into trouble.
For the rest of the night, every time I threw something away I reached for the broken door, only the tape prevented me from opening the damaged door. But I kept trying anyway, on a kind of autopilot.
It was then that I realized that our bad habits are like that broken door and the Law of Attraction is like the duct tape; when we follow it, it prevents us from entering that broken door, or, to put it simply it helps us develop healthy new habits and discard those which hold us back in life.
When we see the duct tape we go in a different direction, one that takes us on the “unbroken path.” If the duct tape wasn’t in place, we would continue to open the broken door; we would be getting the same results we always got and we would not be on the road to making our lives the way we want them to be. But we need to concentrate and understand that when we trust the Law of Attraction it will always open the right door for us: The road to prosperity and peace and understanding. The road to happiness.
Think of the Law of Attraction like that duct tape pointing us to the right door. The one that opens up on our dreams.
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Like it or Not, the Law of Attraction Is Real
By Deborah Ailman
It amazes
me how many people think that the Law of Attraction is all a bunch of “fluff”
They think it is “pie in the sky” thinking and has no sure footing in the real
world. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Law of Attraction is real, and for those that learn to use it correctly it can bring a life of fulfillment and joy. But the first steps are not easy. I liken it to a toddler taking his/her first steps. Unsure and wobbly, the baby takes its first steps and more often than not, ends up on its rear end.
But when you try and try again, you get more polished; more experienced. You fall less and less, until your gait is strong and sure. You have to concentrate when you take those first steps, but once you get going it becomes second nature to you, and you probably don’t even remember a time when you couldn’t walk.
And so it is with practicing the Law of Attraction. At first it is hard to keep those negative thoughts at bay, and to replace them with their positive counterparts. But when you practice over and over it suddenly feels like the sun has broken free from a cloudy sky. You can see the end of your rainbow and it has all your dreams coming true because you believe they will. You have set the stage in your mind for victory, and you have come to claim the prize.
See yourself succeeding. See the easy way things line up for you with no effort, and just because you know they will. Life takes on a distinctive, happy tone that just wasn’t there before. Once you changed your thoughts your life began to change.
Truly believe that you deserve success and to be happy because it is absolutely so!
So remember this next time you get into a funk and turn it around, because you can! The power is right inside your mind, just waiting to be tapped. So turn that mental faucet on!
______________________________Go Put Your Shoes On!
By Deborah Ailman
Some very wise people have said that success is yours if you just take
the first step.
So what’s holding you back? Go put your shoes on!
Yes it really is that easy, but we tend to have “issues” when it comes to our own success and happiness. And probably the number one issue is that we feel we don’t deserve the things we want in life.
I was brought up in Queens, New York, a child of the disco era. I had a strict Italian Catholic upbringing. I was taught never to ask for things and to be happy with whatever I got. Taught never to complain; never to speak up even if I were genuinely wronged. Rights belonged to other people, but not to me.
This is absolutely wrong. Of course, you don’t want a whiney kid who complains about everything just to be the center of attention, but children have rights too and they should be taught the correct way to assert themselves. They should be taught to value themselves. I was taught to value others, but not myself. I walked around on “eggshells” praying I didn’t say or do the wrong thing. There was zero tolerance for me in our house. Mistakes were just not allowed.
But we all make mistakes, so I always had to hide mine.
Which brings me back to my original point. If you’re raised this way then it’s a sure bet you’re having trouble with the concept that you deserve success and to have the things you want in life. If you’re like the way I was, you feel you don’t deserve anything.
If you feel your own father didn’t love you, then how could anyone else? And if your own father didn’t love you, then there must be something really wrong with you!
I admire the way my best friend raised her kids. Her girls feel they can speak their minds without fear of reprisal. They know, no matter what, that their mom and dad will always love them.
If I said some of the things these girls said (and believe me, they are fine, young women) I would incur my father’s wrath. He simply wouldn’t speak to me for months on end. He would ignore me. There could be no challenge, no discussion. I was not worthy to challenge. I just had to accept.
But this is the kind of stuff that makes it difficult to grasp the concepts offered by the Law of Attraction. That we are worthy to have the things we want just because we are here. We don’t have to be rocket scientists or find a cure for cancer. Just because we are living, breathing beings we are worthy to have the kind of life we want.
Tough stuff, as I said, for someone like me.
But the truth is that we do deserve it! No ifs, ands, or buts; success is ours if we want it. You see, the Universe wants us to be happy. To succeed. And the positive energy that surrounds us fans out to envelop others to help make their journey easier as well.
There is joy and beauty all around you. Look for it, and you will see it. It’s true that you find exactly what you’re looking for. See negative and all things negative are there to greet you. But envision the positive, and wonderful things start happening!
Everything has a positive slant. There is good in everything, if you are willing to see it. Just look around. See the oceans, the sky, the stars, the green of the trees, and the beauty of a flower. See the happy little kids playing in a school yard. The birds singing in the sunlight, and all our other animal friends, too. If the Universe can make this happen don’t you think it can help you with your problem also? We’re dealing with an infinite intelligence. I think it can manage to help you out with making your car payment next month.
Open your heart and your mind. You will feel it call you, wanting to help you. Don’t turn it away. It’s been here since the beginning of time waiting just for your call. So make that call today.
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